Be a Radiator, Not a Drain
I read a short article a few months ago — one of those quick little internet detours we all take — and it’s been bouncing around in my brain ever since. The core idea was simple: be a radiator, not a drain.
That stuck with me.
In every room we walk into, every interaction we have — whether it’s with a client, a coworker, a family member, or someone from church — we’re doing one of two things. We’re either adding warmth to the space or we’re pulling something out of it. We’re radiating or we’re draining.
A radiator brings warmth. Comfort. Life. It shows up with a smile, cracks a joke at just the right time, and reminds people that it’s okay to take a breath. A radiator adds something. And it’s not about being loud or overly cheerful or handing out motivational quotes like Tic Tacs — it’s about bringing your full self, with kindness and honesty, to the table.
A drain, on the other hand? Well… we’ve all met one (Probably all have been one a time or two, too!). They pull the life out of the room. They make the air feel heavy. Sometimes it’s subtle — a sigh here, a snarky comment there — but over time, you feel it. It’s the weight of negativity, criticism, or just plain exhaustion that never seems to go away.
When you really break it down, being a radiator is rooted in emotional intelligence. It’s the ability to understand what you’re feeling, read what others might be feeling, and respond in a way that actually helps the moment instead of escalating it. Emotional intelligence isn’t about being soft or overly sensitive — it’s about being aware. It’s paying attention to tone, timing, and the temperature of a conversation. It’s knowing when to lean in, when to dial it back, and when someone just needs a little space. People with emotional intelligence don’t drain rooms because they’re tuned in enough to notice the impact they’re having. And in a world where everyone is carrying something, that kind of awareness is its own form of warmth.
Now let me be honest — nobody is a radiator 100% of the time. We all have drain days. The ones where life piles up, the dog pukes on the rug, your inbox is overflowing, and even the idea of being warm or cheerful feels like a cosmic joke. That’s normal. That’s human. But if our baseline is to strive toward being a radiator — to bring light, to show up, to be encouraging, to be real — we start to shift the atmosphere around us in small but meaningful ways.
In photography, this shows up more than you might think. You can have all the technical skills in the world, but if people feel stiff, judged, or uncomfortable around you — it shows. And not just in their posture, but in their eyes. The energy we bring into a session matters just as much as the lens we use. When we radiate warmth, positivity, and approachability, people relax. They open up. And that's when the magic happens.
But even outside of work, this idea matters. In how we parent. In how we treat the grocery store cashier. In how we respond to conflict. In how we talk about others when they’re not in the room. Being a radiator isn’t just about personality — it’s about posture. It’s about intentionally showing up for others with empathy and authenticity.
And don’t worry — being a radiator doesn’t mean you can’t have boundaries, say no, or take a day off. In fact, the best radiators are the ones who take care of themselves so they can pour into others without running dry.
So today, and tomorrow, and the days after that — let’s just try. Let’s try to bring warmth. Let’s try to add value. Let’s try to radiate something good.
Because heaven knows we’ve all got enough drains in our lives already.